Thursday, January 06, 2005

If I Talk About Snot, Will You Still Read?

Can I post about snot? Is that allowed? Is it offensive? Well, it is my blog, so I think the rules permit it.

So snot. I'm not grossed out by it so it doesn't bother me to talk about it. Snot is what it is. And it is necessary. Last month I was sick for a few weeks, which was bad timing on my immune system's part, but in it's defense, I did run myself down pretty well. Every morning I would wake up with a relatively clear nasal passage, but as the day progressed my nose kept getting snottier and snottier. I was really quite amazed with the amount of snot that I was able to produce. I thought there had to be a limit to how much mucus you could blow out your nose, but I was wrong. So very wrong. I must have gone through 3 boxes of Kleenexes and a roll of toilet paper that I stole from the men's room. The snot factory did cease though, so maybe I did reach that limit.

But that's not the whole point of this post. What I wanted to talk about was those embarrassing moments involving snot. Those moments are pure gold. For example, when you have some mucus in your nose but aren't able to blow it right away. So you're sitting there, maybe at lunch or dinner with friends, and you feel this snot but are unable to do anything about it. And then your friend says something humorous while you have some food in your mouth, so your laugh kind of comes out your nose. Then you are pretty certain that you just launched a snot rocket into your lap, but you can't tell if anyone else noticed and are hoping that the rocket at least landed in your napkin instead of your lap. This is hypothetical by the way.

Or how about when you are in a meeting and you have a runny nose. You are sitting there trying to pay attention, but really daydreaming about everything under the sun. Then you start to feel it. Something is sliding down your nostril. Your snot has become surprisingly liquid and is inching towards your lip. But how do you brush that off? You start to become so focused on the snot that you aren't hearing anything in this meeting and wondering if other people notice as well. Do you try to sniffle it back into your nose? So many possibilities.

Actually, there is really only one mature possibility and that is to polititely excuse yourself and go blow your nose. But I never claimed to be all that mature. I am still a 12 year old boy at heart and 12 year old boys aren't about to be bothered by snot.


Blogger cd said...

See, sometimes if I'm really desperate, I'm that girl you see on the freeway hiding her face with her hair so you can't see that she's trying to pick her nose with an old receipt.

I can't believe I just confessed that. How liberating!

While we're at it, I'm also the one blowing snot rockets in your shower. Sorry.

January 6, 2005 at 9:21 AM  

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